Sunday, June 7, 2009

Sicker Than A Dog

Despite getting lots of rest up here in Santa Barbara, I am heading south very quickly. I am not sure if I'm experiencing symptoms of labor or what- but I am not doing well at all.

Pat (Mr. Mustard's mom) has been bending over backwards to make my stay up in Santa Barbara as idyllic as possible, and she has been helping so much with Paprika. She's been cooking, and cleaning, and doing laundry- and really going out of her way to make sure that we are all very well taken care of. I am really grateful and indebted to her for her kindess and support.

Pat and I took Paprika to the playground on Saturday afternoon. That's where I snapped these pictures. It was the first time I'd left the house since we got back from my surgery on Wednesday. I was in agony the whole time we were at the park and we had to cut our trip short. Not only is the surgical site hurting, but I was having such a hard time walking and was just feeling awful, in general. We came back to the house, and I rested a bit and started to feel a little bit better.


Mr. Mustard and I had planned a date night, and after resting, I felt up to going out, so we decided to keep our plans. Mr. Mustard and I had a nice dinner just the two of us at Piatti in Montecito, a very romantic little restaurant nestled in the hills of Santa Barbara. It was perfect! Afterwards, we took a drive up into the mountains to the plateau where Mr. Mustard proposed to me a little over seven years ago! We sat and looked at the spectacular city view, and looked up at the bright stars overhead. It was so relaxing and refreshing- ahhhhhh!


On the way home from dinner, I started to feel really sick. Once we got home, it just got worse. I started having pains in my stomach, and a lot of gastrointestinal distress. I felt nauseous, and so sick...and I know it wasn't from the food at Piatti. In fact, it was a lot like the problems I was having on Tuesday night, before I had to go in for the surgery.

But this time it was worse. I don't think I've ever felt so awful physically in my whole life. When I started having the strong pains in my stomach, I took a warm bath and that seemed to calm things down a little. But, I am still on edge that labor is imminent and we won't have time to get to LA before the birth.

I am pretty terrified of going into labor up in Santa Barbara. I really want to be in Los Angeles for the birth. The last thing I want to do is give birth in a hospital where no one knows my history, I don't know the doctor, and I have to explain everything over and over again to the nurses and staff.

At our hospital, everyone knows us- our chart is about 5 inches thick- and my doctor has been with us through everything.

I really feel like I need to go back to Los Angeles now. I have never felt as physically bad as I am feeling right now- not even with Paprika, when I had pre-eclampsia and took the Bar Exam at 38 weeks pregnant. Not even then.

I am so worried I am going to go into labor, and there won't be time to go back to LA. I cannot imagine driving from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles while in active labor. I need to be closer!

Mr. Mustard doesn't finish his job here til Monday night or Tuesday morning. So, now I'm contemplating whether to go back to Los Angeles by myself, or to ask Pat if she'll come down to Los Angeles with me until Mr. Mustard finishes work. Or maybe I should just tough it out here until Mr. Mustard is done with his job, and hope that I don't go into labor before then. I don't know. I do know that I am feeling a very strong desire- bordering on desperation- to be near my home hospital and near my doc.

I will keep you updated on what happens. As I write this, I am feeling a strong contraction. Oh boy!

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