The Celebration Continues!

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret

Nine years ago today I became the luckiest woman on the planet when I said "I do" to my best friend, Mr. M. Nine years and five daughters later, I know that life can change in an instant and to cherish each moment we are given. I am so very thankful for the last nine years - every single moment - and I am so grateful for each anniversary we get to spend together.

Happy Anniversary, Mr. M! I am so proud of the life we have built together.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery




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The Rain Came Down!

(Photos by the ever-talented and amazing Carly Marie Dudley - a true angel walking on Earth, who I get the honor of calling my friend. Find her work here, here, and here)

The first strange thing about yesterday is that it rained. In Southern California, in July, that doesn't happen. We had made plans to go to the beach at sunset and throw flowers off the end of the pier in honor of Vivian, Annemarie, Steven, and Kambry.

Originally we were going to let off balloons, but then I kept thinking about the poor birds and sea life, and littering...and so flowers seemed like a good compromise. ;-) But then it started drizzling, and that drizzling turned to rain. And I felt like the sky was crying, but it was alright. It seemed appropriate somehow.



When Paprika woke up in the morning, the first thing she said was that she didn't know how to get two slices of chocolate cake up to Heaven. "What are we going to do? Get a balloon. Or an airplane?" So sweet.

We had a busy day planned, which was pretty much on purpose. Paprika had a double swim lesson, which means she had a private lesson first and then right after that, she had a group swim lesson with three other kids.

Paprika got to her lesson, and the teachers were all in the pool while the kids waited on the bleachers for the lessons to start. The teachers called Paprika into the pool by herself. Then, they asked me if they could take some pictures of Paprika for the upcoming brochure with their new underwater camera. It was just really special that they wanted her. She is so happy at the pool, and everyone there loves her. It's a place where she just fits. On a day when I didn't really want to smile, that made me smile so big. It's the little things.



Then, after a quick trip home for a shower, we headed out to Paprika's first piano lesson. Ginger met a little girl at the studio and was having a ball playing with her in the waiting room while Paprika worked with her teacher. Violet was along for the ride - happy to hang out in the Ergo and check out the world around her.

I snapped this photo with my cellphone (through the studio's window):



Then, we stopped at the little park for an hour for the girls to play some more. It started to rain again, so we headed home before the clouds broke open.

At just about the time that Vivian and Annemarie were born (4:56 pm and 5:14 pm), it started to really rain! I knew at that point that there wouldn't be a beach trip at sunset...but that's okay. I ended up taking Violet for a walk in the rain (big umbrella) late last night, and that brought its own peace.

“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.”
― Vivian Greene

I know things do get easier every year. The things that would have been crippling four years ago are not as acutely painful today. Yesterday, for example, at Paprika's piano studio there were identical twin four year old girls who looked JUST like mini-Paprikas (with the little knot dresses and all).

Four years ago seeing identical twin girls the same age as my girls slayed me. I think I will always notice twin girls, and I will always think about Vivian and Annemarie when I see them. But, hopefully, as the years go on that pain I have will turn more to gratitude...for the fact that I had them at all, for the impact they've had on our lives, and for the wisdom that has come from losing them. That is my hope, anyway.

Happy Birthday to my sweet second and third born daughters. I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always. As long as I'm living, my babies you'll be.

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Happy, Happy!

Today was Mr. M and my 8 year wedding anniversary. Eight years ago tonight, we exchanged vows at my grandparents' church in Indianapolis, followed by an enchanted reception at my Aunt Laura and Uncle Kevin's house. Our wedding was small - 50 guests - and it was totally perfect for us. I can't help but smile big when I think of that night and how magical it all was.

Tonight we had a little date down at the beach, followed up by dinner out at a grown-up place while Grandma Pat stayed home and watched Paprika and Ginger (and Daisy!) We talked about everything good that's happened these past eight years, skipped over the bad, and had a good laugh (and I might have even cried once or twice...pregnancy hormones!)

I never take any of my time with Mr. M for granted...it was just so good to look back at our 11 years together (3 dating + 8 married) and just enjoy those memories together for an evening. So much time these days is spent in the moment that we hardly ever get the chance to look back and reflect...



Speaking of the here and now, I had a doctor's checkup today for little Pavenzia. I am now 26+ weeks pregnant with her. The doctor had some concerns today about my fluid level, so I had an ultrasound and got to see her little face. It was such a precious moment. The fluid level ended up being fine, and so it was a good appointment. I am so grateful for those! Can't believe in 3 months I will (hopefully) be holding her in my arms. It is hard to believe...we are so very excited to meet her (even though I feel like I already know her!)



Grandma Pat came down on Sunday to help us with the girls and she leaves tomorrow. It has been great having her here, and she has been such a help. Thanks, Pat!



Paprika is undergoing some medical testing at the Children's Hosptial, and so Pat watched Ginger while Mr. M and I took Paprika to her first appointment. Paprika's appointment was on Monday, and everything went really well. We have to go back a few more times, but so far, things are looking positive, which is just wonderful.



On Sunday, we celebrated Grandma Pat's birthday. Paprika picked out the cake and the candles. She was so proud of herself! Ha! :-)

I have a ton of photos and stories to add...just fun and funny things that have happened in the past week. I will be adding those over the next few days! Right now we have an appointment to watch Season 5 of Friday Night Lights (we started watching Season 1 on Netflix a few weeks ago...and well, we are addicted). I can't wait to see how it ends...shhhh..don't tell me!

Until next time! :-)

5 Years!

Five years ago I started this blog. I was 17 weeks pregnant with Paprika and all I kept thinking was how I wish I'd started writing a blog sooner because I was soooo far along with her. Ha!

Here's my little trip down Memory Lane:



March 2006 - I was pregnant for the first time, and in my last semester of law school. Being pregnant in law school was tough. I threw up the whole pregnancy and often had to leave class halfway through to throw up.

Paprika's Ultrasound, about 22 weeks along:




May 2006 - Graduated from Berkeley Law 6 months pregnant. That summer I studied for the California Bar on my own (no prep class, which everyone thought was nuts).



July 2006- Took the Bar Exam 9 months pregnant, during the hottest week of the year, and the air conditioning was broken in our exam room all three days. It was about 110 degrees in our room. Survived the exam without going into labor, although I did strip down to almost my underwear during the exam because the room was so darn hot. To be fair, just about everyone in the exam room was taking off their clothes because of the heat- they just weren't 9 months pregnant! :-)

August 2006- Paprika was born! Mr. Mustard won his second Emmy for The Amazing Race when she was just 2 days old. Talk about whirlwind.

Paprika, One Hour Old:



November 2006- Bar Exam Results are released. I find out that I passed and got a model answer (it's an honor). Guess I didn't need that prep course after all. ;-)

Paprika makes the announcement on my blog:




March 2007- We moved out of our tiny one bedroom apartment in Beverlywood and back into our townhouse in Pasadena (we had been renting it out for two years). We hold a yard sale at our old apartment the weekend before move-out day. We sleep through our alarm clock and experience a hoard of angry early-birds knocking down at our front door! We set up on the front lawn of our complex while buyers pick through our stuff. Ha!



Summer of 2007- Lots of trips to Chicago while Mr. Mustard works on Oprah's Big Give. We live at the Omni on Michigan Avenue and I think, "I could get used to this!" ;-)

Eating at Gino's Pizza East in Chicago, summer of 2007:



January 2008- I get pregnant for the second time but miscarry soon afterwards.

February 2008- Pregnant again. This time it's identical twins. Huge Surprise!



I spend the first half of 2008 throwing up, gaining weight, and loving every second of being pregnant with twin daughters.



July 2008- Vivian and Annemarie are stillborn after 18 hours of labor due to Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. Worst day of my life...without question.



September 2008- To alleviate my depression and grief, I get season passes to Disneyland and start taking Paprika almost weekly. It ends up being a tradition we love!

First trip to Disneyland:



Seeing Mickey walk down Main Street:



Vivian and Annemarie's brick- right outside the entrance to Disneyland:




October 2008- I become pregnant with Ginger. The world begins to get a whole lot brighter for us.




June 2009- Ginger enters the world at 8 pounds 11 ounces. One of the happiest days of my life- right up there with my wedding day, Paprika's birth, and the day we found out we were having twins.





February 2010- We decide to put our townhouse on the market. I stage it and we get an offer the first day! After our buyer backs out (after stringing us along for three months), we end up not selling and decide instead to rent it out.



March 2010- We move to the beach! Both girls have their own room and we have a big backyard. After living in Los Angeles for over 10 years, I start to feel like this is home.





Summer 2010- We get settled in our new neighborhood. Paprika starts preschool, we make friends, and Ginger has her first birthday! We visit Indiana and Maine on vacation in between Mr. Mustard working on seasons of Dancing With The Stars and The Amazing Race.

Ginger's First Birthday Party:



Hiking in Maine:



Fall 2010- My family experiences some hard times, as my stepdad's cancer returns, my 21 year old cousin Steven tragically dies in a car accident, and my grandpa passes away from a recently diagnosed, very aggressive cancer.

Steven:



We go back to Indiana for Steven's funeral, and then two months later for my grandpa's.

Me & My Grandpa:



They are both greatly missed.



December 2010- We decide to stop trying to conceive another baby after about a year of trying. We decide it's too stressful and I worry that I am missing my life by being focused on something I can't control. We decide to be content with the family we have.



January 2011- I decide to get back on the fitness wagon, and over the course of the next two months I lose 15 pounds by cutting out soda, chocolate, and working out on my ellpitical. Life is good!



And as for the next 5 years? Time will tell! I am excited to see where life takes us!

Happy Decade!

Today is the 10 year Anniversary of my first date with Mr. Mustard!

Last night we went out on a date. We went to the beach at sunset, then had a delicious dinner out at a "grown-up place" while our new babysitter watched the girls. I have to say, our date last night was just as good if not better than our very first date 10 years ago! (And that is saying something because our first date was pretty awesome).

On our first date, back on November 12th, 20000, we ate at Canter's in Hollywood. Then we went and saw Meet The Parents, and then went back to my apartment and we stayed up late watching all of his student films. No joke! We were both getting our MFAs in Film from USC, so that made perfect sense! Anyway, I was smitten from the get-go, and the rest is history...

It's amazing everything we have shared these past 10 years, and I am so very grateful to have such a wonderful, smart, incredible man by my side. I know it's a bit cliche to say this, but he really does make me a better person each and every day. He's the best person I know, and if I had to pick anyone from all of history to have dinner with, it would be him.

Let's take the time machine back to 10 years ago...

November, 2000:



Mr. Mustard's Graduation from USC, School of Cinematic Arts, MFA program, May 2001 - (I graduated the next year):



My mom's wedding to Eric, in Indiana, June 2001:



Trip to Vegas, April 2001:



My birthday party at The Cat & Fiddle, Hollywood, 2001:



San Diego Zoo, September 2001:



On Vacation in Maine, Summer, 2002:


At Bret and Michelle's wedding, Summer 2002:



Our Wedding, in Indiana, August 2003:



At the Hoover Dam on our cross-country "honeymoon" drive back to Los Angeles after our wedding, August 2003:



At the O.C. Fair, Fall 2003:



New Year's Trip to New Orleans, January 2004:



Sailing in Santa Barbara, May 2004:


In Malibu, winter 2004:



In the Limo the first time he won an Emmy, September 2005:



Governor's Ball at the Emmy's, September 2005:






Our "honeymoon" in Paris (two years after we got married)- November 2005:



Mr. Mustard's 30th Birthday in Maine. This picture was taken moments after we told his family we were expecting Paprika - December 2005:



At my Grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary dinner, in Indiana, where we told them they were going to be Great Grandparents! January 2006:



My Graduation from Berkeley Law, May 2006:



In Labor with Paprika (I was hooked up to heavy doses of Magnesium Sulfate - I was miserable, but so excited to meet our little girl!) August 2006:




At our friend's birthday party in Hollywood, 2007 (it was a murder-mystery party):



First Fall Festival with Paprika, October 2007:



In Malibu, 2008, 14 weeks pregnant with Vivian and Annemarie:



In Chicago, August 2008, Paprika's second birthday:



Ginger's birth, June 2009:



Last night out on our date! November 2010!:



Thank you, babe, for sticking with me through good times and bad! I can't imagine my life without you and I really don't want to...ever! You are the best and I am so very proud of you!!!