The Best Day!

As I alluded to yesterday, last Wednesday was a day for the memory books.  By the end of the day, we were exhausted, tired, sore...and spent!  It was one of those days when you go to sleep at the end of the day and wonder:  Did we really just do all of that today?!!

The first order of business happened early - Paprika had school!  They had their big Easter Egg hunt at school - and all the kindergarten kids went on a hunt with their 5th grade buddies.  There are about 75 kindergarteners and about 75 fifth graders - so that meant 150 kids all running around the playground in search of eggs.  They each got to pick out seven eggs and put them in their baskets.  Paprika was so excited about her little treasures.

Mr. M went to school with Paprika - we are the classroom photographers, so he took all the photos of the Egg Hunt (hundreds of photos!)  Afterwards, they went to the computer lab, and he helped out there a bit.  I stayed home and got the little girls ready, and when they were all dressed and fed and the car was packed, I texted Mr. M and he busted Paprika out of school early.

Why?  Because we decided to go visit Devon and her family - her girls were on Spring Break last week - so it was a rare treat to get everyone together.  Devon's husband works at a school that was also on Spring Break - so he was off work last week!  Mr. M was off work because Wednesday is his day off work on DWTS.  So, all the stars basically aligned for a little trip to see dear friends.





The weather was perfect - gorgeous - 70 and sunny, not a cloud in the sky.  The girls all played together like not a day had passed since they'd last seen each other.  They ran and played for about six hours!  We never heard a peep - they had the best time playing dress-up and pretend.



After a few hours, the guys went and got Baja Fresh for lunch and brought it back to the house.  We sat outside on the back patio and watched the girls play.  It was so nice, it felt like a dream. 




Even Baby Violet was right there in the mix - usually she clings to me and wants to be held - but not in this crowd!  I barely saw her!!!




You would have thought the girls would have been hungry or gotten worn out - but nope!  I don't think Paprika ate anything, drank anything, or went to the bathroom the whole day!  She was so happy, she just couldn't stop for a moment.



I always think of Ginger as being so petite and tiny for her age (3 1/2) - but when I look at these pictures, she looks so tall!  She is such a little girl now - she was helping Violet learn how to drive the little car. 



We sat and visited and talked and watched the girls play for hours. 

It seems like such a dream to me because when I met Devon, we had both just experienced the deaths of our twins - and we each had  one toddler at home.  It's amazing to see how five years has transformed our lives  - and the little scene I saw playing out in front of us is one we wished and prayed for during those dark times. 

It was a dream come true.  Truly.





So, around 6:30, we left Devon's house because her kids go to bed at a decent hour - and mine do not.  Ha!  We didn't want to get stuck in rush hour traffic on the ride home, so we stopped off at my old favorite park to spend a few more hours. 

It was Violet's first time at the park.  She took to it pretty well.  ;-)




I have so many memories of Paprika at this park.  Everywhere I looked, I had deja vu.  I remember so well all the times Paprika played on these horses.  And even when she was too little to climb on the horses, so she would just stand in the middle and jump!



When I was watching her, I felt like I was in two places at once.  I was here, in the now, watching her.  And I was also five years earlier - before everything else happened - when it was just her and me every day.  When I was learning how to be a mom, and she was guiding me.

In that moment, I realized I have no regrets for every single second I spent with her at the park.  At our house.  All of the hard times when she wouldn't listen to me.  When she'd run away for throw a temper tantrum.  Or steal another toddler's bike and insist on riding it.

I was there.  We were there together.  It's something sacred that no one can ever take away from me.  That time.  The hard times.  The good times.  They are all sacred. 



I used to bring Ginger to the park when she was a baby.  We moved to the beach when Ginger was 8 months old, so by the time we left, she couldn't walk yet.  So, it's not quite the same as it is with Paprika - I saw Paprika learn to walk on these stairs.

But even so, when I see Ginger here - it's a little bit of a miracle to me.  How I wished and prayed for her - and here she is.  She is a divine gift from God, and I don't know how I ever got so lucky.



Love her so.  I can't even talk about it without getting teary.



Ginger took to the park like I knew she would.  Even after a full day of running and playing at Devon's house, she covered every inch of the park and played hard.  At this point, it was getting close to 8, and even I was getting tired.  But Ginger's a little unstoppable!  Ha!



Paprika and I took a little walk because she wanted to see the Rose Garden.  She remembers everything - even from when she was a baby. 



We made it over to the Rose Garden and we were the only ones there! 



Paprika had to smell the roses (of course!)




Can you tell she was excited?!




Then she found a snail friend and had to say hello:




Hi, Snail Friend!



I remember once when I was very pregnant with Ginger, Paprika was about 2 1/2.  She ran SO FAST across this field because she did NOT want to go home.  But, for whatever reason, we had to go home.  It was about 100 degrees, and did I mention I was very pregnant?  Paprika weighed about 35 pounds (like a small television), and I had to carry her over my shoulder, kicking and screaming...all the way back to the car.  Whenever I see this field, I think about that day.  And I am so glad today is not that day!  Haha.  ;-)




Of course, we had to go see The Tin Man.  Here is the post I wrote about him long ago.  We used to sit with him every day, and Paprika would talk to him. 

March 27, 2008:










I had this plan that I would bring Baby Violet over to him and we would see if she would sit with him the way Paprika did all those years ago.  But when I brought Violet over to him, she looked at me like I was crazy, started screaming, and ran back to the playground.  Ha!

But, later, Paprika wandered over to him to say hi, and this is what happened:










She didn't sit and talk with him for hours like she used to when she was a baby. She just hopped over to say hi, and then back to play with her sisters. Which is good. I mean, really good.  I'll take real siblings over the Tin Man any day of the week. ;-)

But in the back of my mind, I started humming Puff The Magic Dragon (which is just the saddest song, don't get me started). These girls are growing up, and the one thing I can say I'm so glad about is that I am here. 

Present. 

With them.

 I will never regret a moment of any of this - even the hardest days when I think I just might lose my sanity. ;-)




It's all beautiful.  It's all sacred.  And I'm just glad I get to be here to witness it.  Amen.

Bullying and Homeschooling!

(This is a long post, more for me than anyone else. Which I guess is what you can say about most of my blog posts. Haha!)

As I was picking Paprika up from school on Friday, I noticed that the Kindergarten Screening is coming up. I can't believe it's been a year since we went through that. A year ago, I was fretting about whether or not to send Paprika to Kindergarten or Developmental Kindergarten (aka DK, it's just like Pre-K).

As you know, after much hemming and hawing, we put her in DK. I have gone back and forth all year on whether or not that was the right decision for her and for us as a family.

In retrospect, I am not sure I made the right choice. I am glad that she has another year of part-time school. This year and next year (Kindergarten), she'll only go to school for about 3 hours/day. That gives us a lot of hours in the day just to be at home, be together, and learn stuff on our own.

The downside of having her in school is that:

1) She is not learning anything academically. We pretty much do a full homeschool curriculum at home, and Paprika is academically doing work a few years ahead of grade level. She's very advanced in reading and science, pretty advanced in spelling and math, and better than average in penmanship. At home, she gets one on one attention, and well, that's just not possible at school, especially when they are trying to catch other kids up. I didn't really expect that Paprika would learn a lot at school, but what concerns me is that I don't think her teachers know that she knows so much. As in, I don't think her teachers know that she can read.

We got her report card a few weeks ago, and it stated that soon she would learn how to read consonant-vowel-consonant (CVC) words (like cat, dog, hop). Well, Paprika can already read Level 3 books easily (she reads them to me every night before bed)...so I kind of scratched my head at that one. I guess I didn't expect that Paprika would learn a lot at school but I thought at least they would recognize how advanced she is...but with 15 kids all at different levels and one teacher, I know that's tough.

When Mr. M volunteered in the class last week (we try to volunteer at least 1 day/week), he noticed that Paprika was finishing her work very quickly. What took her 30 seconds to do correctly was taking other kids 10 minutes or more. The teacher was helping other kids at other stations, so I don't think the teacher realized. Paprika just went off to play by herself while the other kids were working. So, there's really no academic challenge for her at school. It's just her kind of going through the motions, jumping through hoops, if you will.

2) Another glitch we've encountered this year is the "friend" thing. In case you don't know, mean girls show up even at DK! Paprika is super sweet (to a fault) and she's been the target of some bullying in her class. Her class is 13 boys and 3 girls, so there are really only 2 other people for her to be friends with, since the boys are kinda like a Lord of the Flies gang. One of the girls is a "queen bee" and has decided who gets to be friends, who gets to wear what, etc. This little girl can be quite cruel. Paprika has also dealt with a lot of teasing from the boys in her class, and one boy even told her that if she told anyone he was teasing her that he would "make her sorry."

A few kids even made so much fun of Paprika for wearing dresses, and told her she couldn't wear them anymore, that she stopped wearing dresses completely (and she loves her dresses!) She said that she could only wear them at home because people laugh at her at school about what she wears. Well, you know I had to bite my tongue about that because I really had some choice words float through my head. I talked to the teacher, and she had a discussion with the class (no names were named) about how we don't make fun of kids' clothing, etc.

I guess I could have just made sure Paprika always wore pants to school (she gets to pick out her own clothes every day)...but I felt like giving in to the bullying was not the answer. I was made fun of for things in school that I had zero control over. In Junior High, I was constantly teased for having "fat ankles" when I was a beanpole of a girl. I was also made fun of for other things, like the shape of my lips. So, I think bullies will just be bullies no matter what. One day they pick on your clothes, the next day it's the color of your hair, the color of your skin, your sexual orientation. Where does it end?

Anyway, it's pretty much a daily/weekly thing for me, dealing with this or that social issue at the school. I was hoping that Paprika would make some good friends and socially, it would be a fun break in her day for her. But, really, it just kind of eats into our day and we don't get to go to a lot of the places we used to enjoy so much together (museums, the Aquarium, the beach, Disneyland, etc.)

3) Paprika has a lot of creative interests that she fulfills at home and being at school is somewhere she just can't do that. For example, Paprika loves writing and illustrating her own books. She has told me repeatedly that she wants to be an author and an illustrator when she grows up. On any given day, she can spend hours writing her special books. But, she has also told me that at school it's too noisy, too crowded, and too cluttered for her to create. I imagine this will be even more so the case as she progresses in school and their time is more structured and more geared towards preparing for standardized testing. I enjoy watching Paprika grow academically with her self-directed learning, which is something that just really isn't possible (as far as I know) at a traditional public school.

On the plus side:

1) Paprika seems to love school. Why, I do not know. But, she does. She is really excited for next year in Kindergarten when she'll have more girls in her class to be friends with (the DK is always heavily boys), since she says that her one "friend" this year is more often mean than nice.

2) Paprika gets pragmatic speech therapy 2x/week at school (this helps her learn how to talk to others in a social way), and is in a special friendship group that also helps with social skills. She also has an OT in her class who works with her on a regular basis. Having these services (and not having to pay for them) is pretty awesome!



3) I get a little break during the day when I can focus all of my attention on Baby Violet and Ginger. Although, with it just being three hours, it seems like by the time I get everyone out the door for drop-off, by the time I turn around it's time to go back to school to pick Paprika up (and by that time, Violet is usually taking a nap so I have to wake her up).

4) Having her in school gives us a little rhythm to our day, and connects us to our community.

Going forward, we're just going to take it year by year and see what happens. I can completely see us homeschooling at some point in the not-so-distant future, especially when school is all day long, and the little girls are a bit older. Paprika will probably join swim team in the Fall, which will give her some extra social time, and there are other groups she will likely join, like Girl Scouts. I have also thought of getting the girls involved in gymnastics (for gross motor skills), and that would also be a great social outlet. And it's also possible that we might join a church and start going regularly and they'd meet other kids there.

So, that's where we stand on the whole school thing right now. I think for next year, we will give regular Kindergarten a shot. Hopefully it will be a fun three hour block in the day for Paprika to get to know other kids and be social. At home, I will continue basically homeschooling her on my own (so she's learning something academically). Then at first grade, we will reassess and see what is working best for our family at that point.

I guess the sum of all of this is that I want Paprika to enjoy school and for it to be enriching on some level for her. I am not the type of person that believes that you have to go to a conventional school to learn things, or even that it's the best option. I have a lot of formal education under my belt (a Master's degree and a Juris Doctorate), and yet most of the things I have learned have been outside of school. And certainly, my most enjoyable educational experiences have all been extracurricular. And, my friends were mostly made outside of school, as well. So, there ya have it.

It will be interesting to see where the next few years take us. Of course, I could go back into law practice full-time, and then the kids would probably be in private school! Haha. Well, anyway, this blog post will be fun for me to look back on in a few years anyway. I just really don't want to miss out on these sweet and formative years in my kids' lives by shipping them off to school everday, especially if it's not what's best for them. But right now, I do think that school is overall more positive than negative for Paprika at this point...so we're sticking with it. Unless, of course, I change my mind. Haha.

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The Ides of July!

Somehow, we're over half-way through July...which means over half-way over with summer break. Next month, someone will be trotting off to "real school" - I am so not ready for that!

Last weekend, we went to the beach. Ginger's favorite place is the beach, probably tied with the "Wimming Poo" - that's swimming pool in her dialect. ;-)



Right before we went to the beach, I got my hair cut at a salon right on the ocean. It was a Groupon...so I thought I'd try it out and bring Paprika with me. Paprika had been talking for weeks and weeks about how when she grows up, she wants to be a hairdresser in a hair salon. Of course, she has only had one haircut in her life (at a kid's place in Indiana)...so I was wondering how she got that idea into her head. I decided to take her with me so she could see if it was really for her. About ten minutes into the experience, she looked at me very seriously and said, "On second thought, I think I'll grow up to be a mermaid instead." Ha!




Not the most flattering picture of me...but here I am in all my pregnant glory. ;-) I am now 23 weeks pregnant- in this pic I was 22 weeks (since it was taken a week ago). I am really starting to feel pregnant now. I am loving feeling the kicks and the little reminders of our baby girl growing inside me. Next week (24 weeks) is the viability mark- I am looking forward to that milestone the most. :-)



I am craving lots of fruit and chocolate. The girls and the puppy are keeping me busy, so I don't have a lot of time to rest and ponder this pregnancy, but I carve out special time. The girls are soooo excited about the baby and talk to her all the time. Ginger likes to kiss my belly and say, "Pavenzia, come out!!!" I knew Paprika would bond early with the baby, but I had not anticipated how excited Ginger would be about her and how much she "gets" even though she is just two years old.



The summer is just gliding by. The construction noise has been driving me bonkers - we have had a few really bad days of constant noise (half of our neighbors are either building new houses or doing major work). I have pulled out the map of Montana more than once this past month and checked real estate prices on big pieces of land with no neighbors! Ha! That's just the reality of living here...this community is undergoing a pretty big change - it used to be middle/working class and now people with more money are coming and tearing everything down. We live in one of the last little original beach bungalows - our house is dwarfed by McMansions all around us, and it makes me a little nostalgic for the "old days" (even though I wasn't really alive in the old days- ha!)



We are the second family to live in this house since it was built in 1949! The last family who lived here had it built in 1949, raised four kids in this house, and then sold it to investors in 2010 - the mom moved to Arkansas to be with family. We are living here basically until our landlords decide to tear it down. I feel connected to this house and have an odd pride that our house is one of the last of its kind!

I love living so close to the beach, and some days I pretend I am living back in 1950...a simple little beach life. Nothing about this house has changed since it was built, so it's easy to feel like I'm in a little time capsule. Ha!



In other news, our little ball of fur turned three months old on Friday (July 15th). She was born on Tax Day (April 15th), so it makes her monthly birthdays really easy to remember!

She is adorable, and yes, kind of a pain in the rear, too. ;-) Overall, I can't complain. The only thing driving me really bonkers is when she nips at the girls- just puppy playing stuff, which I know will get better. I would say her good traits far outweigh the annoying ones, and I love having her in the house. The girls love her and every day Paprika says, "Please can we keep her forever?" She's a member of the family and I am excited for the girls to grow up with her!



And last, but definitely not least...we had some friends out visiting us from Illinois a few weeks ago. My friend Liz came out with her family, and it was so awesome getting the kids together! We met online when we were pregnant with our first babies, and we've been close friends ever since.



That summer Mr. Mustard worked for Oprah and we lived in the Omni on Michigan Ave., I spent a lot of time with Liz...at the mall, at her house...she really put up with me a lot! Haha! She has been out here to visit three times and everytime it is just awesome. I am so grateful for technology - it really makes the miles so much shorter...doesn't it?



We had an awesome time hanging out with her family in our 'hood, and just catching up on life. Like these two babies who weren't even born the last time we saw eachother!



And these two, who declared one another "best friends" 5 minutes into hanging out.



I did get a picture of all of us hanging out, but...it is not the most flattering picture of me at all. So, I will have to save it for another day! Haha!

So, that's our first half of Summer! Time is really flying so very fast. I am enjoying our lazy days, and being home with the girls. I know my life will not always look like this, so I am making the most of each moment with them while they are little. It is too precious for words!

California Dreamin'

Friday we had a perfect day! Devon came over with her girls. The babies took naps until the late afternoon while the "big girls" climbed trees and invented enchanted fairytales in our backyard. Once the babies woke up, we all played outside in the grass in the warm sunshine of a perfect Indian summer day!



Then we went down to the beach as the sun slipped low on the horizon. It was magical.



These two have such a strong friendship. They share more now than they even now know (they both have twin baby siblings in Heaven), and it is my prayer that their friendship will grow and thrive as the years go by.



These two had so much fun in the stroller together. They were taking it all in! I'm so grateful Ginger has her own little friend...they are just 3 months apart, so growing up, they are going to have a lot in common!



These two are just three weeks apart in age, and sometimes when we're out and about, people think they are twins! Haha!



On this night, we practically had the whole beach to ourselves. I wonder if these California girls know how good they've got it! ;-)



I kept trying to get a picture of all four, but it wasn't working out too well...



This is the best I could do!



Running up and down the Boardwalk at dusk. What could be more fun?



And then we capped the evening with freshly churned ice cream from the Creamery! Yum, yum, and more yum!



It was a great start to a beautiful weekend! Hope yours was beautiful, too!