Three years ago, I didn't know what was in store for us. I was 18 weeks 1 day pregnant with Paprika. I knew our lives were going to change, and I wanted to remember it all- the good, the bad, the hard, the easy. I can honestly say that I have done that here and I love being able to look back at each day and see where we were at a particular point in time.
I look back at that first picture I ever posted, and I think, wow, thank goodness I've become a better photographer over the last three years! The camera we use now is not much better than the one I had back then, but hopefully I've learned a trick or two in how to take better pictures in the past three years! For starters: close the dresser drawer, turn off the flash, find better lighting, and for goodness sakes- clean off the mirror! :-)
In some ways, I feel as if I have aged 10 or 15 years in the past three years. Back then, I didn't know about losing babies, about visiting funeral homes, cremating infants, and picking out baby urns. That was not part of our reality back then. I also didn't know how incredibly amazing it would be to watch Paprika grow and change, and the pure joy I would have from being her mom. Part of my grief in losing Vivian and Annemarie comes from knowing that they would have been equally as amazing as Paprika, so every day I am not with them, I feel a sense of loss for what they would have been doing and learning, and how they would have been growing.
On this three year blogoversary, I am 25 weeks 5 days pregnant with a new baby! I am so excited to begin the journey with this baby, and see how our family continues to grow and change.
Thanks for being with me on this journey, and for continuing to support and love our family- through good times and bad, hard times and joyous times! We love you all so very much!!!
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