Friday, October 23, 2009

Tiny Footprints

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I went this morning to visit Devon while Paprika was at preschool. I can't believe that tomorrow it will be four weeks since Peighton was born. I sat with Devon in the outdoor cafe while she had her lunch break (no food and no visitors are allowed in the NICU), and we had a great talk about the fragility of life, God, religion, and how quickly things can change...both for good and bad.

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It is amazing to me that at this time last year, I was newly pregnant with Ginger. She was here...inside me...just a lot smaller! I often wonder what Vivian and Annemarie would be like had they had the chance to grow up. It's a hard thing to reconcile. Their passing has tested and stretched and ultimately strengthened my faith in ways I never thought possible.

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Going through their loss made me a very different person...probably a lot better of a person. More humble, less judgemental, more patient, less perfectionistic, kinder. But I would go back to the way things were in a second just to have them back and be able to kiss their tiny feet. I am so grateful I have these tiny feet to kiss...and I will never, ever take that for granted.

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