Monday, April 20, 2009

Beating The Heat!

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I checked the weather this morning, and the high today was supposed to be 98 degrees! Another hot one! So, Paprika and I spent the day in the air conditioned cool of the indoor playground.

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I was nervous about going back since the last time I took Paprika, she threw up on everyone. I was worried they might remember us and her getting sick. But no one seemed to mind or care (or at least they didn't say anything)!

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I expected it to be crowded, but we practically had the whole place to ourselves. Practically. A few minutes after we got there, two nannies showed up with identical twin girls, about a year old. I don't know why twins follow me everywhere! They looked just like Paprika did at that age, and Paprika wanted to play with them. I don't know when these encounters will ever stop being hard for me. I really want it to stop hurting me everytime I see twins, especially twin girls...but it hasn't yet.

It's hard acting normal and not letting it show how much this type of thing affects me. I know a lot of people think that because I'm pregnant that it erases the hurt of the past, but it doesn't.

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But how can I stay sad for long when I look at this little girl, and know that I need to be strong for her? Love her so much, and she doesn't let me be down for long...

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