Deja Vu

I took these pictures today of Ginger on her 10 week birthday! We spent a little over three hours today at the McDonald's Playland again. It was the only air conditioned place I could think of where we could avoid inhaling all the smoke and ash from the brush fires up in the mountains. We drove over to McDonald's and there was a HUGE fire on the mountain right at the exit where we were getting off. The whole top of the mountain was engulfed in flames. But, it seemed contained, and I was pretty sure it wasn't going to reach the McDonald's, so we went anyway.

I was much more prepared today and brought Paprika several changes of clothes...but she didn't need them today! It was a much calmer day than our last vist, thank goodness!



Paprika likes to climb to the top of the slides they have there and then jump over to the fireman's pole and slide down. She has so much fun, it's been a great find. I can sit and have a drink, feed Ginger, and I am close enough to be right there for Paprika.

We stayed until Paprika wanted to go home (about three hours)- and I know I have to go to there sparingly, otherwise Paprika is going to get really tired of it...and I don't want that!



It is a little loud and crazy...but once you tune out the wailing babies and the screaming four year olds, it's no so bad! ;-) I even managed to have a great conversation with my Aunt Laura on the phone. She just sent her youngest child off to college, and so we had a chat about how bittersweet that was, how fast childhood goes, and how important it is to be fully present in your children's lives.



I feel really lucky that I am able to stay home with these girls. Sometimes I think about how exciting it would be to be working in film/television, and going back to that life. Or how exciting it would be to be making bank at a big law firm as an attorney.

But nothing...and I mean, nothing is better than being with these girls. Even with the wailing children at McDonald's, and the lack of sleep, and cleaning up poop...so much poop.



I realized all that before we lost Vivian and Annemarie, of course, but I don't think I felt it as deeply. I don't think I took each breath for the gift that it is. What we went through...it changed me. It changed me in some ways for the better, and probably for worse in other ways. Every day I look at these girls and pray that they will be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and that some day I'll get the chance to see them grown. But I know there's no guarantee.

So, I relish each crazy moment I spend with them, and know it's all going by way too fast for me. My family is my life, and every moment I get to spend with them is a gift I'm not sure I deserve, but one I am so grateful to receive.



On a lighter note, I had deja vu when I took these pictures today! I looked back at old pictures of Paprika, and found these! Paprika was 7 weeks old in the pictures below (3 weeks younger than Ginger). You could say that Paprika has always had a flair for the dramatic! She was such an expressive, dramatic baby...something that is true to this very day!

Back then, she liked to mug for the camera. Now she says things to me like, "No pictures, please!" A diva in training! ;-)