Monday, August 23, 2010

Just An Ordinary Day

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I have come to cherish the ordinary days. The days when the biggest item on the agenda is running to Trader Joe's to pick up a few things. Days like these really are a gift, you know?

I was talking to Mr. Mustard last night about something called "what if we'd never known the loss of our twins." You know, if they had never existed. We wouldn't know grief the way we do now. We were forever changed by them, and most of the time, I think we were changed for the better. Sometimes the mantle of grief is incalcuably heavy, and it's a lot to bear. Even now. And so sometimes I wish I could go back to that carefree innocence I once knew. But then I wouldn't have had them, and...well, I don't want that either.

And then I wonder, would these ordinary days feel so sweet without having experienced extraordinary loss?

I guess we will never know because we can only be where we are now because of what we have been through. Deep, right? ;-)

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So, yes, today was one of those precious ordinary days. Just a day to hang out and make sandwiches, bake banana bread, and play in the backyard, and go down the slide again...

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and again...

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and again! (and maybe a few more times, too).

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Paprika wanted to act out the story of The Three Bears and The Three Little Pigs over and over again. She was Goldilocks and the rest of us were the Three Bears...Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear.

When we were playing The Three Pigs, I got to be the Big Bad Wolf. That was a hoot. Somehow these fairy tales all have about four characters, which seems to work out for us.

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Ginger wanted to pick all the lemons off the lemon tree- even the green ones. I let her do it. I know, I know. (They do grow back, right?)

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We played in the backyard until the sun almost went down. Just like you would on an ordinary day.

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I like you, ordinary day. Stick around. Put your pajamas on. Stay awhile.

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Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

-Mary Jean Iron

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10 comments:

waikikimum said...

Erika. Your babies are so precious and I know what you mean about an ordinary day. I love them. Some people might say they are boring but to me they are everything. I don't like drama!!!! Just give me a peaceful ordinary day and I am happy. Enjoy every moment with your little ones. Kathy

mommy4boys said...

Very well written and expressed. I've had similar thoughts lately. What beautiful girls!

alissasworld said...

Beautifully written!

alissasworld said...

Beautifully written!

Devon said...

wow, love this post!

and i wonder that too...if the little things would be so beautifully if not for such a large loss....one can only guess....

i pray for lots more ordinary days for you!

Wendy said...

Wonderful post! It's been a year today that we lost Bryson and with his newly born brother being 4 weeks told, it's hard to focus on how blessed we are on these ordinary days. I often think of your posts when I'm having a tough time with Branson crying or not sleeping, but thank God, he's alive! Thank you for these reminders!

Sheila said...

Erika you have an avid fan.
I was holding my 5 month old grandson Charlie and looking at this post. He enjoyed it, but when I got to the picture of you and Ginger picking lemons from the tree he started cooing, babbling energetically and making those adorable excited, happpy baby noises. Just to be sure it wasn't a fluke I scrolled the post 3 separate times. Each time he got so excited and talkative on that picture. I don't know what he was saying but he was definitely happy and excited to see ya'll. I think it's the happy, smiling, mommy face you have in the picture.
Thought you'd enjoy knowing you made Charlie's day. Yes, he is a sweet, darling boy. What a good judge of character too. (blatant granny brag)

McCryssy said...

A beautifully written blog. Thanks for sharing. I know it's not the same (and I hope this doesn't get lost in my words) but through your loss of Vivian and Annemarie, I've also learned to appreciate those normal days. I don't crave the busy, go-go life that I once did. Spending time with the children and just enjoying the moments we're in is what I love most. Thank you for sharing your life with us, E. I really do love reading your blog :)

Kim Arnold said...

I agree... an ordinary day is a gift. And, sadly, most of us don't appreciate what a wonderful gift it is until we have experienced loss and pain.

Then the ordinary becomes extraordinary.

Beautiful post!

(And family.)

Benjamin said...

I have to agree with McCryssy because that is a nice written blog! :)