Family Is Everything

Steve's funeral took place on Thursday morning and his memorial service was last night in Indianapolis. It was very important for me to be there- even if it was just to give my Aunt Jeanette, Uncle Ed, and Brian a hug. Mr. Mustard had to be back at work this weekend to finish up a show, so the visit to Indy had to be shorter than I would have liked...the trip ended this morning with a very early flight back into Los Angeles.

The past few days have been intense, unrelenting, difficult, hard. I have been struggling with the unfairness of it all, the terrible heartache and hurt left in the wake of Steve's passing. His mama, his dad, and his brother, are bearing the devastation the hardest. To say they were a tight-knit family is an understatement. They were everything to eachother.

Steve impacted so many lives in his 21 years. At the memorial service last night, his life was celebrated by hundreds of friends, family members...people who loved him, admired him and cared deeply for him and his family. It was so beautiful. Beautiful, and heartbreaking and downright tragic.

I know I came back from this trip changed. My family is my focus, but now I know even more strongly, as my Uncle Ed said over and over again, "Family is everything."

But even with all the lessons that this tragedy could teach, it is still too high a price to pay. I would trade all the lessons in the world to have Steve back at home with his mom, dad, brother, his girlfriend Candace, his friends...it is not right. It is not fair.

But then again, if there is anything these past few years have taught me is that life is not fair. Life is many things, but fair it is not.

I don't think I've ever hugged my family so tightly as I have in the past three days. I have hugged Mr. Mustard, Ginger, and Paprika so tightly I thought they might break. Family is more precious than any pearl in the sea, any jewel in the world. Family is everything.