Two Years

Today marked two years since this day.

July 11th 2008 (the day we found out Vivian and Annemarie were no longer alive) and July 12th 2008 (the day they were born) are the two most difficult days of my life.

Everything since then has been different. My life changed on those days. There is no going back. Sometimes I think about the person I was on the morning of July 11th and the person I am now...and it's like those two people might look alike...but they are not the same person. Not at all.

It's complicated, of course. We celebrate the lives of our girls...the brief and short time they were here on Earth. We miss them. We cherish them. We are glad and feel so blessed that they were in our lives and that we have the hope of seeing them again in Heaven.

But, of course, we are devastated. Still. Even two years later. The grief changes, but it does not go away. We are learning to live with that.

Today was a day of remembrance. And just being together. We had a packed day...and just enjoyed the moment. The present. And although we wished with our whole hearts that V&A were here to celebrate with us, we know that one day we will meet them again.

We started off the day with balloons...



and flowers...



...and a special Mother's Day present that Mr. Mustard had been waiting to give me since Mother's Day back in May.

They were a beautiful pair of earrings. When I went to put them on, I realized that one of my ears was no longer pierced. What can I say, it's been a long time since I've worn earrings. But I really wanted to wear the earrings.

So...I pierced my ear. It kinda hurt. Ouch.



Then we went back to the Aquarium. It is really peaceful there. It's hard to feel sad when you're looking at sea lions.



Truly.



We stayed at the Aquarium, and then went to the harbor and watched the boats come in and out. Then, we took Paprika to ballet class (we didn't want her to miss it- it's the highlight of her week). After that, we went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant.



After that, we went to the beach and released balloons.



It was an amazing day. I only wish that Vivian and Annemarie had been here to spend it with us. I hope that they had a good view from Heaven. I miss them so very much today and every day.