Monday, July 12, 2010

Two Years

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Today marked two years since this day.

July 11th 2008 (the day we found out Vivian and Annemarie were no longer alive) and July 12th 2008 (the day they were born) are the two most difficult days of my life.

Everything since then has been different. My life changed on those days. There is no going back. Sometimes I think about the person I was on the morning of July 11th and the person I am now...and it's like those two people might look alike...but they are not the same person. Not at all.

It's complicated, of course. We celebrate the lives of our girls...the brief and short time they were here on Earth. We miss them. We cherish them. We are glad and feel so blessed that they were in our lives and that we have the hope of seeing them again in Heaven.

But, of course, we are devastated. Still. Even two years later. The grief changes, but it does not go away. We are learning to live with that.

Today was a day of remembrance. And just being together. We had a packed day...and just enjoyed the moment. The present. And although we wished with our whole hearts that V&A were here to celebrate with us, we know that one day we will meet them again.

We started off the day with balloons...

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and flowers...

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...and a special Mother's Day present that Mr. Mustard had been waiting to give me since Mother's Day back in May.

They were a beautiful pair of earrings. When I went to put them on, I realized that one of my ears was no longer pierced. What can I say, it's been a long time since I've worn earrings. But I really wanted to wear the earrings.

So...I pierced my ear. It kinda hurt. Ouch.

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Then we went back to the Aquarium. It is really peaceful there. It's hard to feel sad when you're looking at sea lions.

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Truly.

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We stayed at the Aquarium, and then went to the harbor and watched the boats come in and out. Then, we took Paprika to ballet class (we didn't want her to miss it- it's the highlight of her week). After that, we went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant.

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After that, we went to the beach and released balloons.

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It was an amazing day. I only wish that Vivian and Annemarie had been here to spend it with us. I hope that they had a good view from Heaven. I miss them so very much today and every day.

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11 comments:

Cristy said...

What a post. My godbrother went through something very similar four years ago with his son and he releases balloons on the anniversary too. He has them right messages on the balloons ... don't know if you WANT to do that, but thought you might like the idea.
Thinking of your family today.

OH AND...OOOUCH about the ear! ; )

Devon said...

it looks like you had a beautiful day...i am so glad you were able to just BE and just spend time with your family...

praying for your heart today and everyday....

love you friend!

Lauren said...

What a great day to honor Vivian & Annemarie.

Your quote here says it all: "But, of course, we are devastated. Still. Even two years later. The grief changes, but it does not go away. We are learning to live with that." I am struggling to live with the reality too.

I know there was a big party up in heaven for your girls yesterday.

Hugs!
Lauren

Southern Gal said...

What a beautiful family day. I pray you'll be comforted every moment.

The look on your oldest daughter's face while looking at her daddy? That is priceless! Who will ever measure up in her eyes? That's the way it should be.

Courtney said...

Was thinking about all of you yesterday. I know how hard those two days were for you.

*hugs* holding you all close to my heart.

alissasworld said...

You celebrated the day beautifully! Thinking of your two boys today and always...

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Remembering sweet Vivian and Annemarie with you...

Love and Prayers...

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Remembering sweet Vivian and Annemarie with you...


Love and Prayers...

ryansmom said...

Ahh, what a nice way to remember your beautiful baby girls. I love the balloon with the butterfly. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Hugs

Karin said...

I'm glad you had a good day remembering your girls. I know it's still hard.Thinking of you!

Louisa said...

Remembering Vivian & Annemarie, thinking of you