Monday, December 10, 2012

She Will Move Mountains!

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This quote reminds me so much of my little Ginger. Three years old, and as the saying also goes: She knows her mind.

She is a strong girl and even stronger-willed.  She wants to do everything by herself, for herself, and the way she wants to do it.  A lot of times I just have to step back and get out of her way.  When I do that, she absolutely shines.  There is no task she can't do once she's made up her mind. 

Take the whole potty training thing - I know...gross...but this IS a mommy blog!  Haha.  I was pulling my hair out trying to incentivize her, help her, pressure her...and nothing was working.  Nothing. 

Then one day, she just decided to go on the potty, and there has been no looking back.  Somedays, I ask her to put on a diaper for MY convenience (like when we went to Disneyland and I was afraid she'd have an accident).  Nope, she's not having it.  Now she is 100% potty trained, all on her own, no accidents ever...and no more diapers.  Period.  When we went to Disneyland, she told us when she needed to go, when straight into the bathroom, and did her business...thankyouverymuch. 

At home, she has a little potty and she will not even let me empty it out for her.  She does it all.  (I'm not complaining!  Ha!) 

She could care less about a visit from the Potty Fairy. The Potty Fairy only came one time and Paprika was much more excited about the visit than Ginger was.  Haha.  Ginger is just one of those people who really knows so well what she wants, and she is not moved by pressure of any kind.  When she's made up her mind, that's it.  There's no stopping her.

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The same was true of her whole "not wearing clothes" thing.  I kept asking her (pleading) with her to wear clothes, putting her in clothes she could not escape...and finally giving in to her not wearing clothes.  Then, one day I just gave up.  I put almost all of her clothes into boxes in the garage and left her with a few things in her drawers that she could pick out herself.  Since that day, she has dressed herself completely. 

If I so much as say a word about what she's wearing, she will go back into her bedroom and change clothes!  She will look at me and say:  Please...don't say a word!  (It is so hard to keep a straight face in this house sometimes).

Even though she is so strong on the outside, she is so soft and tender on the inside.  That being said, she is also SO stubborn!  She will not (and I mean never) say that she's sorry.  For anything.  She would rather go into her bedroom and put herself to bed without dinner than admit she's sorry.  Even though I know she IS sorry and she has the sweetest heart. 

I think it comes back to her having a lot of pride, and not wanting to show she's made a mistake.  She really is such a perfectionist.  She wants to do everything right the very first time, and gets so upset with herself when she does something that's not perfect.  She has very high standards for herself.

It is so true that each child is very different. With Ginger, she is 100% her own person. She loves to draw (and she's SO good at it!) She loves to help me. She loves to do things on her own.  She loves nothing more than to be useful.  When it's time to pick up the house, she's the one who does it the fastest and most cheerfully.  She helps me do laundry, she wants to do anything she can to be my helper. 

So, what I am working on in my parenting journey with Ginger is providing her with choices I am okay with, and then letting HER make her own choices from that limited pool of options.  It's about letting go, pretending I'm not watching (even though I really AM!) and letting her soar.

Because when I let go of my expectations for her and let her do things in her own time and in her own way - when I let her be the person that God created her to be and let go of my version of who I think she should be  - I get to witness the absolutely magical and unique child she IS.  It makes my heart sing with joy -  she is an amazing, incredible gift and I am so grateful.


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3 comments:

Sophie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sophie said...

Just rediscovered your blog a few months ago after you left a very kind comment on my "what I want you to know: a teen's perspective on having a working mom" post on Rage Against the Minivan. You said that you hope your daughters turn out like me. So sweet of you! Judging by this post, they are well on their way. :-) Like Ginger, I am a total perfectionist, so stubborn and I like to do things MY way. I love what you said about letting go of some of your expectations for her. As a frequent babysitter, one of my biggest pet peeves is when parents don't provide choices for their children, like you have for Ginger. Allowing kids to make certain decisions is the only way they will gain independence and grow! Anyway, GOOD JOB!! All three of your girls look precious.

And, as I was writing this, I glanced over at your tags and saw MAINE! I live in Maine, just ten minutes away from Mackworth Island. Small world. Glad to see that you had a nice time here!

siri said...

She reminds me A LOT of Cade. Down to the potty training and clothes scenarios. Two peas in a pod :)