20!

Baby Violet is now 20 months! She is so full of joy and life. Every moment she is awake, she runs through the house, climbs everything she can, and if you try to stop her, she belts out the loudest and most mischievous belly laugh.
 
I spend a great deal of my time keeping her safe and out of trouble. I would say that's my number one occupation these days! ;-)

For example, Paprika likes to go up on the top bunk of her bunk bed to read books in private. I removed the ladder to the bunk bed long ago, because I didn't want it to be an issue with Violet climbing up to the top bunk.  The big girls climb up the side of the bunk bed - it's not an easy climb but they are big enough to do it. 

Well, in the past few weeks, Violet has learned how to scale the side of the bunk bed and climb to the top without the ladder. At first, I thought it was Paprika playing a joke (and helping her sister up) - but nope! I even took a video of it because it is actually downright shocking - Violet can scale the bunk bed in two seconds flat.

So, I have taken to locking Ginger and Paprika's bedroom door during the day so that Violet can't go near the bunk bed. It's a bummer for Ginger and Paprika, though - because they both love being able to retreat to their room for quiet times throughout the day, and they especially love to read books in the bunk bed. BUT - I am not taking that risk.

When Paprika and Ginger get dressed in the morning, I literally have to restrain Violet from being in their bedroom because she dashes straight for the bunk bed while I am busy helping the big girls.  The other day I watched Violet climb it (in a loop) - she went up and down about a thousand times (with me standing there spotting her).  She never got tired - I was tired watching her!

In other news, my neighbors might think I am a crazy person because this is what my front porch looks like on a daily basis:





I got so frustrated pulling Violet off every chair all day long, I stuck all the chairs on the front porch. She stands on them and will actually climb to the top of a chair and use it to get up on the countertops, the dining table, and other places she should not be.

And of course- she loves to stand at the sink and RUN the water! I was letting her stand at the sink with the faucet at a dribble, but as soon as I would walk away, she would turn it on FULL blast - and well, that's just not gonna work for us (hello water bill!)

Word-wise, she is learning lots of new words every day.  She understands everything - everything!  But, she's not talking like her big sisters...yet!  Sometimes I wish she were more verbal because I sense she is frustrated with communicating.  She's a little past the "sign language" stage - because she can say lots of single words.  I can just tell that she has BIG ideas she wants to express and it's frustrating for her that she can't. 

I took it for granted that at this age, Paprika could recite the entire alphabet, belt out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and have a conversation like a five year old.  Ginger was a lot like Paprika verbally.  But, Violet is much more physical and less verbose.  I have a feeling she'll start talking one day and never stop.  We shall see!  ;-)






I take a photo of Violet every day during her naptime.  I think I am going to put them into a book - one picture for each day - to have for once she stops napping.  They are just cellphone pictures in the dark, but I love them.  I never get tired of watching her sleep.




I always sit right next to her (or hold her) when she sleeps.  Her naptime is our "quiet time" in the house - so the big girls sit in the next room and either read books (or write books!) or draw or play an educational game on the computer (Starfall or something like that). 

It is sacred time!  Can you see why?  :-)  It's the only time during the day when I get to sit down and exhale for a moment.  Sometimes I'll just sit for five minutes and watch her breathe when she's sleeping.  By now, I know how fast these days go...



After nap, we go to the park or play in the backyard, or read books. Or Ginger and Violet play together while I work on homeschool stuff with Paprika.

But, at about 8pm, we all clean up the house before Mr. M comes home from work. Whatever we're doing, we all stop - and help each other pick up the whole house so it's clean when he gets home. This has become much easier since I decluttered the house and put almost everything in the garage or donated it to charity!

Anyhoo- after we've picked up the house, Violet knows that means her daddy is almost home! So, she runs to the front window and presses her nose to the glass and will wait as long as it takes until he gets home. She loves her daddy so much!



That's 20 months! I can't believe how much I love this girl - every single time I think my heart can't hold any more love, it bursts open and holds a little more. She is just perfection to me...my sweet Pavenzia!  :-)

The End!

17 Months!

Little Miss Violet turned 17 months old on Tuesday!  She is a great light in our lives, and she is quickly becoming the noisiest, most rambunctious, silliest, troublemaker in our family.  ;-)   She has two switches - ON and OFF.  And she is usually ON!

Violet loves music - I know I've been saying this since she was born, but it is true.  She loves music more than anyone I've ever met, and she can bang out her own tunes on the piano.  Loudly.  ;-)

She loves wearing dresses. She loves going to the park.  She loves distributing all the contents of our house evenly over the floor. 

She loves to steal whatever food you are eating and eat it herself.  She loves new experiences, and is definitely sensory seeking.  This is new to us because Paprika was such a sensory avoider (still is) and Ginger was middle of the road.  Baby Violet will put anything in her mouth - and she does.  I often find her trying to eat gravel.  Or her shoe.  Or dirt.  Or a crayon.  Or sticks.  Or dog food.

You get the point...




She loves to laugh, and act silly, and dance.  She is not a great talker yet - but she does have some words she can say.   She can say a lot of words by themselves (victory!, bottle, please, mama, daddy, dog, daisy, etc.) but she's not putting them together yet.

 Her speech limitations frustrate her to no end!  I know all she wants to do is talk just like her sisters, and she's so mad that she can't say what she wants to say.  A lot of times, I will just ask her what she wants and she will say Yes! or No!  That helps things a little bit...

When Paprika was this age, she could speak in paragraphs and recite movies and sing songs verbatim after one hearing.  So, I really took it for granted that such verbosity was typical at this age.  And, I guess it's not typical!   Violet is right on target (if not a little advanced) linguistically - but she's still not where she wants to be.  So, I am trying to be patient with her, help her learn those words, and also teach her some sign language so she can tell me what she wants. 

Physically, Violet is way ahead.  She has two older sisters to chase, so no wonder!  She can climb, jump, problem solve...part of the "problem" is that she thinks she's five years old already.  Haha.

I have always found this age to be a tough one - but it is also such a sweet age, too.  It goes by so fast, and I know before long, I'll be wondering when she'll stop talking.  ;-)

Until then, I'll just listen to her music on the piano as she plays me her songs...

Violet is 15 Months!

I can't believe it, but Baby Violet is now 15 months young. She is a full-fledged toddler, and she's into everything. She never stops moving, and she is curious and fearless. She loves to eat food - she is willing to try anything. She wants to be just like her big sisters - so much so that she is always pushing Ginger out of the way when she wants something. She wants to sit in Ginger's carseat. She wants Ginger's food. I have taken to sitting Ginger on the counter sometimes when we eat just so Ginger can eat in peace. Haha.

I put away the highchair today because Violet only wants to sit at the big table - and if you put her in her highchair, she will climb out. She loves to make noise and will take all the pots and pans out of the cabinets and bang them. She loves to yell at the top of her lungs. She loves playing piano, and she loves music.

Violet is talking quite a bit now. Her favorite syllable is still "B" - so a lot of things sound like "Boo!" She can say: Daddy, Daisy, Doggie, Mama, Mommy, Stay, Place, Yes, No, Please, Ball, Bath, Baby, Teeth, Ta-Da, Weeeeee, Meeeee!...and a bunch of other words I'm forgetting. :-) She shakes her head yes or no if you ask her a question, which is quite helpful, really.





Violet loves her family - especially her big sisters.  She loves adventure. She loves her baths. Loves being outside. Loves going to the park. Loves riding in the stroller because it's a fun ride.  She is always smiling...always laughing. The only thing she does NOT like is being far from me. As long as her mommy is near, Violet is a happy girl. She is still carried everywhere in the Ergo (on my front) - and she is still nursing all the time. I am still carrying Ginger (age 3) on my back (all 37 pounds of her) - and Violet on my front (all 26 pounds of her!) - together that's 63 pounds I"m hauling all over town. But I really don't mind it one bit - Ginger is really active, and when she's on the loose in the wild, that's even trickier to manage. At least when I'm carrying her, I know where she is. Haha.

Little Miss Violet adds so much excitement to our lives and she is an amazing, incredible person. I feel so lucky to know Violet and to help guide her as she grows. It is a privilege being her parent - and not a moment goes by when I'm not ocmpletely thankful to be in her life and to have her in ours.

Baby Giraffe!

Violet is 12 months old now. I wanted to make sure to write down all the things she's doing. It changes so fast!

Violet is running all over the house. She loves to climb! She is saying a lot now. Her favorite things to say are: What is dat? and What is dis? She says: Daisy, Daddy, Mama (a lot), and some other words, too. Usually she just says the first syllable of the word and let's you figure out the rest. ;-)
She understands everything and can follow directions really well. So, if you tell her to go into the bedroom and wake up Paprika and Ginger, she will march right into their bedrooms and wake them up. Now when I change her diaper, I tell Violet to go put it in the trash, and she does! She is quite amazing. She really understands so much.

She loves being right in the middle of things. The other night when we were decorating the Christmas tree, I took her for a walk for a few minutes because I could tell she was getting tired. She kept trying to throw herself out of the Ergo and she was so fussy. Well, as soon as I got home, it became clear that she was mad because she wanted to decorate the Christmas tree with her sisters (not go on a walk)!

Violet is generally very happy and always laughing and smiling.  She does get really frustrated by her little body not being able to do everything she wants it to do. She wants to sit at the big table in a regular chair (not her highchair). She wants to sit at the computer and watch movies with her big sisters. She wants to walk to school. She wants to sit up on the couch by herself, read books, play on the computer, and she probably even wants to drive the car! Haha.

She is not a fan of shoes at all, even though she has many pairs!  She takes them off whenever I put them on her.  I carry her about 99% of the time when we're out and about, so it's not a huge issue yet.  She's just missing out on some fabulous footwear.  ;-)



Violet puts everything in her mouth - I mean, woodchips, rocks, pencils...anything she sees.  Paprika was the opposite- she never put anything in her mouth (not even food!)  Ginger was in the middle.  Violet will try any kind of food and happily eat it.  The downside, of course, is that she eats grass and whatever else isn't nailed down. 

She's getting more teeth - I felt at least two, possibly four last night.  The other girls had one or two teeth at this age - Violet has eight big chompers with more ready to come through.  She's like a little Renesmee from Breaking Dawn with all those teeth.

This month, she dropped down to one nap/day.  Paprika and Ginger went down to one nap/day around 9 months old, so I was prepared!  Now Violet takes one nap in the late afternoon (which would be evening to most people) - and then goes to sleep around midnight.  She is still nursing with no plans on stopping anytime soon.

She has so much energy!  From the moment she wakes up, she is unstoppable.  She is a great little sister and wants to do whatever her big sisters are doing.  I want to tell her not to be in such a hurry to grow up, but I know that's not how it works.  ;No matter how fast she gets or how tall she grows, she'll always be my baby.  :-)



The End.

Happy Birthday, Violet!

One year ago today, my life changed forever when I held Violet in my arms for the first time. Paprika had named her Pavenzia, and everyone wondered if the name would stick. Ha!

 It's so strange to me to think that this is only her first birthday because she seems like she's always been in our family.

Here she is on the day she was born, totally brand new:




In her daddy's arms at the hospital:





And with her mama, freshly delivered! ;-)




Meeting her sisters for the first time:



It was love at first sight for them, too!



The funny thing is that even though she's a year older now, to me she hasn't changed a bit. She is still the same little soul she was on the day she was born.

I often think about that and wonder when we become "who" we are. Was she different the day before she was born compared to the day she was born? I have to think that little babies in utero are themselves from the moment they are conceived.

It's pretty amazing to look at a fresh baby and know that who she was on that first day of life is who she IS...and that is, just perfect in every way. When I look at her, I see God's perfect creation and it makes me weep for the miracle of life. (Not to get sappy on you or anything - ha!)




I have watched her sleep from the day she was first placed in my arms. Is there anything better to watch than a sleeping baby?




I know people think I'm crazy because I have held her for every nap of her life.  I have never laid her down for a nap when she wasn't being held in my arms or in a baby carrier. I like that the second she wakes up, I'm right there.

It's been the most amazing privilege to watch her grow, and you know...I think the reason I love watching her sleep is because I can. There are three babies I've carried who I don't get to watch sleep...so the fact that I can watch Violet sleeping is a huge privilege to me. I think I'll still be watching her sleep when she's ten (although eventually she'll probably ask me to stop - ha!)



Those first few months were so hard - I look back at this photo and I am amazed by everything that has happened since Violet was born.  Mr. M went out-of-town for three months to work on Flight when Violet was just a month old, and I was left to hold down the house with three little ones by myself.  Good Grief!

I am honestly surprised that I survived the first year!  Haha!



But, somehow we made it through and came out the other side...and here we are! One year later. A family with three girls who make us laugh every single day.

After we found out Vivian and Annemarie were girls, all I could think about was our little family of three girls. And while it's not the same, I still love raising three girls. I'm getting to the place where I couldn't imagine things turning out any other way...and that is something I never thought I'd say.



The other day when I went to vote, I saw two Monarch butterflies circling over my head...flying in unison, little tandem flyers. Whenever I see Monarchs, I always think of Vivian and Annemarie. It was like a little nod from them telling me that things are as they should be, and that even though in many ways I'm still NOT okay with what happened, Vivian and Annemarie are always with me.  Always.

I'm not saying that I don't have my moments of deep sadness and missing Vivian and Annemarie, because I definitely do.  But more days than not, I am finding peace. I am finding joy in this life, and what it means to be a mom to my three living children. Having Violet gave me that peace.  Even though I would have done everything I could have to keep Vivian and Annemarie alive, it wasn't my choice.  And so, how can I be anything but grateful for the miracles of these girls?  I am in absolute awe that I get to raise them, and I wonder on a daily basis how could I ever be so lucky.



I worry about writing this because I don't want it to be misconstrued or hurtful to anyone. I am not saying Ginger and Violet replaced Vivian and Annemarie, because no one ever could.

Just today, on the day Violet turns one, I am able to look back and see how far we have come as a family. That every single thing that happened to get to this point in our journey was worth it - that all the pain and heartache was worth it, because I cannot imagine not being able to have had Violet and Ginger. Out of the darkest of scenarios, two miracles happened.

 

I am reminded every time I look at Violet not to take a single second of her life for granted. It all goes by too fast anyway, and so every joyful day with her, I stand and recognize that she is a miracle.



Happy one year of breath, my sweet baby Violet.   You are everything and everything is you.



Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over...it became a butterfly.     -Anonymous

One Week Left!

This is my last week of my baby being officially a baby. Next week she'll be over a year old and a toddler. Of course, leave it to me to get hung up on these little milestones and anniversaries.

 I drive Mr. M crazy with all of my made up anniversaries, like "the anniversary of our first date" and how I celebrated our "almost-versary" the year before we got married. Haha.

What can I say, I like to make the most of every last little moment. ;-)




Violet is talking, walking, playing piano... She loves her big sisters, and knows how to let her voice be heard (translation: she is very loud!)

Her favorite things to say are: What's dat? And: Who's dat?




She points to the things she wants and shakes her head no when there's something she doesn't want. She loves her baths, and loves adventure. She gets very dirty, so it's a good thing she loves her baths. ;-)

She is fearless, happy, funny, and determined. She knows what she wants and gets so frustrated when she can't do it.   She wants to rule the world but her little body is holding her back.  Isn't that how we all feel sometimes?

 

I want this next week before her birthday to go in slow motion. I want to remember every second of her babyhood, to somehow harness it before it slips away.

 But, this week will be business as usual - busy - filled with swim lessons, piano practice, school, homework, and everything in between. Before I know it, Friday will be here. It always comes.

 I just can't believe a year has gone by since I held this tiny baby in my arms and wondered about all the things she would be.  Here we are, one year later, and I can't imagine her being anyone except who she is...wild and wonderful. 

And I guess the birthday is just one day - because really, every day is a celebration with this girl in my life.  I still kinda want to freeze time, though!  ;-)

 

Happy 11 Months!

Dear Violet,

You are eleven months old. I am in denial that in a few short weeks you will have your first birthday. This has been the fastest year of my life...I can't even wrap my head around how quickly it's going.

The first big news is that you are walking! On the day you turned 11 months old, you decided to get up and walk across the room. Well, not ALL the way across...but you did take your first big steps all by yourself. I kept thinking that if you hadn't been induced early, you would have been TEN months when you took your steps! ;-)

Anyway, I am so proud of you. In the past few weeks, you've started walking a lot. It is a gazillion times faster/easier for you to crawl, but a few times/day, you show off your walking skills. You are getting better and better with practice!

Second big news is that you've discovered the piano. I often find you playing little tunes to yourself on it. You will climb right up on the chair, plop yourself down, and start playing away. You could teach your older sister, Paprika, a thing or two about practicing piano! Haha.




You are into everything. And when I say everything, I do mean everything! Your favorite things to do are to empty out the refrigerator and all the cabinets in the house. Nothing is safe from your mayhem. When anyone opens the fridge, you race over to it, and just start pulling everything out as fast as you can. It gives you such joy, I can hardly stop you.

The cabinets are your other favorite thing to unpack. I have taken almost everything out of them...I know I could get those cabinet babyproofing locks for them...but 1) that would require me to buy them and install them (who has the time for that?!) and 2) it is more fun to watch you play.

I've just taken all the stuff you really can't have and put it in the high shelves, so the low shelves are your playground. You can make an orchestra out of pots and pans...and well, you DO! Daily!





You are a climber, just like your big sisters were at your age. I can never take my eye off of you because you like to live your life vertically! You can climb anything, and you do it without fear.


Every day, I put a new piece of furniture in the garage because I just can't keep you from climbing it! Before long we'll be eating dinner on the floor. ;-) I love your fearlessness and your love of exploring. I hope you never lose that.

You are go-go-go all the time, and then once in awhile, you take a nap! You are still napping in my arms, and sleeping beside me. You have eight teeth, with more on the way soon.  You are wearing 12-18 month clothes now, and you weigh about 25 pounds.  You have started to LOVE food (I have never met a baby who was as adventurous with food as you are!) - and you still love nursing. You are a mama's girl, and can pretty much always be found attached to my hip. :-)



You LOVE your sisters and your daddy, and you get so much joy out of spending time with them. You love to laugh and cause trouble...which is endlessly entertaining to your sisters, especially! ;-) You think you are all grown up, but you are still a baby to me!

 Happy 11 Months, my sweet baby Violet.

Love,
Mom


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10 Months Can!

Dear Violet,

You are now 10 months old. I am amazed at all the things you can do.

You can stand up all by yourself. You can crawl up onto our mini trampoline and bounce yourself (with supervision, of course!) You love to stand in the doorway when I have the refrigerator open. If I let you, you will stand there and take ALL the food out of the fridge. You think it's the best thing. You love to unfurl all the toilet paper in the house and make big messes wherever you go. I think you are becoming a toddler before my very eyes.

You have six teeth (four top, two bottom) and by the way you've been sleeping, I'd say you have a few more on the way! You love food and are big food moocher. You will eat anything. The other day, when you were standing there at the fridge, you took a mixture of spicy peppers out of the fridge and ate them all up. You love any and every kind of food, as long as you can feed yourself. You will NOT allow yourself to be fed by anyone but YOU.   But as much as you love real people food, you love nursing most of all! 

You love being in the sand, in the grass, and as far as I can tell, you have zero sensory issues! You are happy with whatever.




You love your family, and are especially attached to your mama. If I am out of your eyesight for even a split second, you start crying and get really upset. I don't think you quite understand yet that when I leave, I'm not really gone. I think you think that I've disappeared entirely. So, I never stay gone long. ;-)

When I put you down, you always crawl right over to me and tug on my pants and beg me to pick you up (which I do). Your favorite place is riding on mommy's hip.

You only fall asleep in the Ergo or in your carseat when we're driving someplace in the car. Once you're asleep, you like being held. I always hold you for your naps still, and sleep next to you at night. When you wake up in the morning, you are always so happy. There is nothing quite like holding you. It's pretty magical.



You are a very fast crawler, and when you want to get something, you put your mind to it and get there fast! You will be walking any day now, I just know it. It's kind of funny, but I think one of the reasons you are so physically advanced (compared to your sisters at this age) is because you never wear shoes! With your sisters, I always had them in shoes (Pediped) and I think that those shoes just got in their way. You have a big shoe wardrobe but you don't like anything on your feet, so we just go barefoot. It works!

You are starting to talk. You say: Yes (sounds like Yeth), Mama (Mamamamamamama), Dada, and then a lot of bibbly babbly that you understand but is not quite English. ;-) I always know what you want, and you are a pretty great communicator.

You are always so smiley, and you love to wave to people and point and smile at them, and then hide your face and be shy.

You love your sisters and your daddy, and you get SO excited when you see them. Your favorite person to play with is Ginger. You two play kitchen together - Ginger makes you "food" and you throw it around the room. Or Ginger and you build with blocks - Ginger builds, you destroy. ;-)

You love music more than anyone I've ever known, and already you toddle over to the piano, put your fingers on the keys, and start to play.

I love being your mom and cannot imagine my life without you in it. You have been in my arms for just 10 months, but it seems like you have always been here.

  Love, Mom


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